An Education

I was in the education business today - my favorite. I think I eventually got through to this adult son that you don't have to go to a nursing home at some point. He assumed his mother would eventually become bed-ridden and of course, this means a nursing home.

Reasons why people mistakenly believe a nursing home is needed:
- you become bed-ridden *
- you need a wheel chair
- you have more advanced stages of dementia
- you are a "wanderer"
- you are dependent on others for your mobility
- you are incontinent and one of the above
- you assume this is the natural aging progression when care from others is necessary

It took me some doing to explain, but I think he got it. Sometimes I worry our community is a mini nursing home in disguise because we give care through end of life in a pretty, home-like atmosphere - which we really do have down. The name Assisted Living is misleading to alot of people. Many people assume "assisted" implies you have to be able to do some things for yourself that stops short of complete and full assistance, hence the assumption that a nursing home is the next step. I really do understand why people think this way. It's not like we help them out with our own terminology.

There are over 16,000 nursing homes in this country, exceeding the number of US McDonald's franchises by about 4,000. These really aren't good places for our frail elders to live. But there aren't good choices, either. I'm going to a meeting next Wednesday to talk about this. Bill Thomas describes himself as a "nursing home abolitionist". I am totally stealing this motto.

* You do not get old and end up bed-ridden in a nursing home unless you have bad care. No one should be left in a bed if they are not sick and yet dependent on others for their mobility.