What if We're Not the Answer?

I don't know what to do about T. He really isn't appropriate for the community, but it isn't my call. I can tell you there isn't a place for him. I don't know how to help a 92 year old woman who is a full-time care-giver to her alcoholic husband with mobility issues and her 67 year old son, also living with her, on hospice for cancer with mets to his brain. His care issues plus her husbands care issues are too much. Yes, we take care of people who have cancer and hospice can come to us and care for them in-house, but this is different.
T has had a long-time addiction to pain meds: Oxycontin and Vicodin. He is functionally independent. It is his special combination of disagreeable personality/poor judgment/forgetfulness that makes him too hard to live with. He hasn't been physically violent, but he has swept the dresser off with his arm in the middle of a tantrum.
He did come for the assessment at the community and was very intolerant and impatient. We are sure he will leave or "exit seek" as we say in the biz if he is too "agitated" as they also say. The family has stated he has been addicted for two years now, and had "alcohol issues" prior to that. He will not be able to self-medicate at the community. Who knows what behaviors might surface if he can't have his meds when HE wants them. Having an angry, drug addict in withdrawal around frail seniors is not a good combination. Having him at his own mother's home is also not a good situation. I don't know what the solution is.
Sadly, the best situation is for the cancer to progress to where he is more dependent and more accepting of assistance.
I can't stop thinking about this family because I know this 92 year old caregiver who had to quit her tap dancing class ( but still takes tai chi and goes to church - yay) is sandwiched between two tyrants - her husband and her son. I have one of each, too. I can't imagine this situation. She can.